Operation dRYLANd: The Official Call-Out

(Please note this is my evil alter ego and that I do not intend to personally attack anyone. This is for fun and I simply want to spice up our mediocre lives. Rylan is actually nicer than half of you guys and the truth is out of everyone I would trust him the most if he had to babysit my child. I mean no harm to him or anyone else if my alter ego intends on coming after you, brother.)

Rylan…you absolutely suck. I couldn’t find any other word with Rylan in it so I opted for dryland, which defines what your players will be playing on come February. You’re lucky my fat ass didn’t invest in a webcam because you would have seen me crying drunk and shirtless, telling you that I’m coming for you. It’s been weeks that I’ve been calling you out and all you do is hide at the top of Mount BestPool. Well, Rylan….I must be Sir Gawain and you’re the fucking Green Knight. I must be Winona Ryder’s boyfriend and you’re Edward Scissorhands. Only this time, you won’t stab me in the chest with your decrepit knife fingers. (Let’s pause for a second: honestly, how hot was Winona Ryder in Edward Scissorhands…Good Lord. If I could go back in time, I would caress her face and make her a sandwich. Ok, I’m back).

You piece of mouldy fantasy pie. I’m calling you out Ryland but we’re upping the stakes. I know you won’t accept my offer. Why? I’m not going to say you’re a coward. That word is a heavy and misused, kind of like the word hate. I’d say that you’re scared. Why? The truth is I don’t lose bets in this pool. Last year, I called out Joe Canella. I blew him out of the water. You see, you can be in the money every year. You can win multiple years. But when you go one-on-one with the Boulium, you stand no chance in hell. 1-0. That means I’m undefeated. You’ve been here too long. It’s a passing of the torch. You’re Tracy McGready, I’m Derek Fuckin’ Rose.

Here’s the deal you’ve been waiting for:

If I beat you this year Rylan, you give me Nail Yakopov. Since you can’t give him to me for free,

you give him to me for the dirtiest kind of cheap. You give him to me for nothing, and by nothing I mean Jiri Hudler / Scottie Upshall one-for-one nothing.  

If you beat me this year Rylan, I will leave Best Pool forever.

This isn’t called Alex vs. Rylan, this is called:

NAIL IN THE COFFIN

MAH GAWD

Alex Giardini

BestPool Correspondent/Coffin Constructor/Each one of your sisters think I’m prime Shawn Michaels