Ooh, You're my Best Friend....

(Like, I know right? Vinnie has been so weird lately....still coming over for supper? My wife made Coquille St.-Jacques, you're gonna love it)

AL DINI VS. JOE FRAZIER: RUMBLE ON THE SPREADSHEET

As a gambling man, I would do anything for money except prostitute myself more often than usual. At times, you really must ask yourself if the tits are worth the squeeze. In this particular situation, I couldn’t resist. Joe Canella, our favourite Sicilian, made the blockbuster deal of the year so far with Devin. I won’t get into details about the deal because that will come up in Trading Spaces. Although I’m quite shocked Canola thinks he’s about to run away with this pool. I had to question his credentials. So far, I still think I have the better team. On the other hand, Cannoli is a better GM.

On this day, Joe doesn’t have his new players. After a few glances at the standings I couldn’t help but notice Cannoli was in 8th place. I’m currently sitting in 7th ahead by 1 point, with a better and proven farm team. Already, it’s 1-0. Maybe I’m getting a little ahead of myself because this deal hasn’t even started. The deal is whoever finishes ahead of the other will be treated to an exquisite meal at NTR Arena prior to the draft. The reason we are not going to include the entry fee is because at $80, the prize is somewhat obscure. If Canella is in 10th and I’m in 11th in three months from now, shouldn’t I just decimate my team to get guys who are getting points at the time so I can beat Canella…or vice-versa? Joe and I had showdown talks and decided that if we are not in contention, one guy should not be in whore mode with his players. Quite frankly, that wouldn’t even be fair to THE POOL. So this is it: Loser buys the Winner a meal at NTR, period. Bragging rights alone would suffice regarding that Southern Italian Bitch but I want the real prize. I want that platter with chicken wings, chicken fingers and fries. That was the shit Joey was eating and having a penetrating experience at the same time. I want a burger, too. Poutine, you say? Sure. Beer, you might ask? No. That’s not part of the deal, and I don’t wish that tab on anyone. I’m not sure if anyone other than Alexes noticed, but I spent about 27$ on food that night. I’m not saying I’m going to put him through that, but my God this is war. I found it funny that Giuseppe started preaching about how he was the guy to beat. As if he was a drug addict who found God and thinks that heroin is long gone from the system. Dude, you’re still stuck with the same shit and inherited different beliefs. Not to mention, the enemy asked if I was SURE I wanted to do this and told me I had no clue what I was getting myself into. Talking like he’s prime Luc Robitaille all of a sudden. Let it be known that you can find me on the frontline; dying for my country, my pride and my team. I called his ass out because I know deep down inside, Joe knows he can’t beat me.

Welcome, BestPool Junkies

Good morning, junkies. It is with great pleasure, honour and hostility that I will be taking care of the best fantasy sports blog known to mankind. Our ``evil commissioner`` D-Block has given me the privilege to write about his baby, as well as tell it like it is (and tell it like I wish it was, too). I can go on and write more about this and make this introduction so long that it seems like that library book you picked up with a thirty-four page preface. Instead, I`m going to fuck you up with some truth and let you know about the weekly columns:

-The Montreal Meltdown (Consists of anything that has to do with Private J. Martin`s soldiers)
-Power Rankings (Top 10 Players of the Week)
-Snore Patrol (Top 10 Players who suck the bag of the week)
-Dini`s Diary (A Day in the fantasy sports life of everyone`s favourite Blog Administrator)
-Trading Spaces (Yours Truly goes over and analyses the trades of the week)

Yeah, I know. Top-fucking-notch. Every week you will see these columns. Not to mention, I will also write about other things too, so it's like you`re getting all that and more. It's like as if it was your birthday, you in the strip-cluuuuuuub, and then your girlfriend gives you that ``come over, I got a surprise for you….It`s me, naked`` text. Only on THEPOOL.blogpsot.com, you don`t have to shower before you go over because you don`t want to smell like CANDY`s breath. It gets dirty here anyway. So expect the unexpected, and these articles will follow in the near future:

AL DINI VS. JOE FRAZIER: RUMBLE ON THE SPREADSHEET
THE CURIOUS CASE OF BENJAMIN BYFUGLIEN
MATT WITHERS: ENIGMA OR MASTERPIECE?
TOP 10 STEALS OF THE YEAR
THE KRISPY KREME FRANCHISE: PLAYERS THAT WEREN`T WORTH IT

Gentleman, let the fuck begin.