OPERATION TOP 4

Dear Poolers,

For those of you below me (blow me fits perfectly) I would honestly call you guys out but the only guy who comes remotely close at giving me hell is Ricky Vallis...so I like my chances, thanks.

Months ago, I called out Rylan McKinley who seemed untouchable. Firing on all cylinders, Rylan actually perplexed me. His team was (and maybe still is, strict maybe) unstoppable and in all honesty, I didn't fear Rylan (because I fear no one - in pools anyway) but I respected him a lot more than most of you papagals.

Now, my team has near failed me in 5th place. With help of some illegal green medical substances I've been taking combined with grocery-store priced Stella Artois, this week I went Heath-Ledger-Dark-Knight nuts in my room talking to myself at late hours and I did a few deals. Did my team get stronger? Did my team get worse? Who knows, questions remain... (que the Unsolved Mysteries theme song).

My proposition to Rylan was simple; if you win I will leave the pool. If I win I take your most prized prospect. With months of speculations of where Rylan is and how he responds, he was nowhere to be see (see Steve Bartman, Chicago Cubs fan - http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Steve_Bartman_incident). Rylan never accepted my offer; and like any offer, they expire. You can't offer me a Chinese wife over the internet and one year later I say "Hey you know what, I'll take Chun Lee now". Doesn't work that way. So truth is, that offer is gone and I am here to stay until someone challenges me with intensity, integrity, intelligence...even then, we all know I'm the biggest dog around here and I'll chew your bones until they taste stale.

So now, I offer Rylan a truce: For Rylan and I to become the Rock n' Sock Connection, like Mick Foley and The Rock...Yes, Rylan you can be The Rock but I look a lot more like him I'm just saying. We work together until it is just us two, like in the Royal Rumble. But if your back is turned will I throw you over the top rope? Who knows, questions remain...

So listen Eddy Martinez, Mr. "Oh look at me, I'm 6'4 and I'm so damn handsome and I have perfect shoulders" Shut Up. Shut your face. You my friend are in for a rude awakening...everyone says you have the "perfect team"...Hombre, nothing in life is perfect...your team certainly isn't.

The Withers Brothers...Oh, the Withers Brothers...first off, Kevin...I have no clue how the hell you're still in first place, your team looks like Dollard-des-Ormeaux MAGH 2 out there...I'm not too worried about you, you'll fall faster than Burke's love for Colton Orr.

Matt Withers, I like you...but your team is the worst thing I've ever seen. Your team is more awful than Kathy Bates' tits in About Schmidt...if your team was a country, it would be the Congo...if your team was a movie, it would be Congo...if your team was a fighters ground game it would be Cheick Kongo's...you know what, I'm just going to leave it at that.

So Top Four...let it be known, this is bigger than East side-West side...I will pull back no punches. I am coming for all of you and I will die trying. This year for me is kill or be killed. Either I take it home or I walk a long road home (aka 7th Place). Rylan, I offer you a conditional truce...but if you make it to first place again, we have problems not even the humongous-big universe can handle.

SHUT THE DOOR ON THE TOP FOUR.


 "Whether you like it, or you don't like it, learn to love it...It's the best thing going today". - Ric Flair

Alex Giardini
Best Poolster to ever grace 5th Place/Marijuana Enthusiast